Couples Therapy: How It Works and What to Expect
- Dr. Willard Ashley, Sr.

- Nov 22, 2020
- 2 min read
Sometimes, love just ain’t enough, so goes the heartbreaking ballad. Sometimes, you need couple’s therapy too to make a relationship work. It’s not just all about flying sparks of romance, after all. You need to put in the effort to maintain the commitment.
Unfortunately, it’s not always going to be easy, and your desire and willingness to put in the work may not always be there. Nobody said relationships are ever easy, but as long as there is willingness from both parties to come together and at least try to overcome the challenges together, it is very possible to come out of it much stronger together.
Signs You Need Couples Therapy
There is no one specific thing that will indicate you to a couple’s therapy. For some, it’s a culmination of many, little things over the years. For others, it could be one immediate transgression that feels so unforgivable, any sort of reconciliation seems out of the realms of possibility.
However, if you feel like communication has been especially difficult, to the point that every conversation—if it even happens at all—results into a shouting match, it might be indicative of underlying deeper issues that remain unaddressed.
Distrust is another indication that therapy might be in order. If you find yourself having this grave lack of trust with your partner, whether in your financial transactions, issues of intimacy, or fidelity, and cannot seem to address and resolve it with them successfully, a professional intervention might be what you need.
What Goes on in Couple’s Therapy
Most people envision sitting on a couch and talking with the therapist in front of them. This is a stereotypical scenario, and it’s not a wrong one. You can expect a lot of talking to be involved; this is, after all, an opportunity for you and your partner to unpack deep, underlying issues.
The therapist is there not to impose solutions on you and your partner, but rather to help facilitate the communication between the two of you, that may have been blocked by feelings of anger, resentment, and distrust. From this foundation of communication, the goal is to be able to rebuild trust, and from there, a renewed sense of togetherness and partnership.
Apart from this, you can also expect to be given homework and exercises that you can do in your daily life. Being able to incorporate these strategies to your daily routine is crucial because they are supposed to be life hacks, if you will, that you can use as the situation requires.
Most important to note about couple’s therapy is that it can only work if you are both willing to make it work. You wouldn’t know if it does, however, unless you give it a shot. Couples therapy is a great way to get to know your partner better, especially if there are major changes to your relationship. If you’re willing to put in the work, but are finding it difficult or have no idea where or how to begin, get in touch with a couple’s therapy who can help.

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